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Regaining trust after indifelity

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Regaining trust after indifelity

Infidelity is one of the most common causes of separation; it usually means pain and suffering, for one or both parts of the relationship. But is it possible to recover the relationship after cheating?

Sometimes close friends will say: “if you do it once, you will do it again”, and that means that one of the two parties has to “accept” cheating or the separation. However, those who choose to stay in the relationship must face the consequences of betrayal.

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The forgiveness

The person, being deceived, may feel that his life is no longer the same, loses the confidence and feels betrayed, to the point where she may frequently remember the moment of trust rupture. To make it short, the betrayal is a wound that opens constantly during the relationship, is revived again and again. Its manifestation is distrust, reproach, and lack of joy in the relationship.

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To forgive, you need to be able to keep away the anger to the one who cheated. This can only be achieved voluntarily. To forgive is necessary to change the destructive behaviors towards the one who hurt the other.

Implications of forgiveness

The couple who decides to continue after an infidelity requires commitment. Many times we hear “I forgive you, but I do not forget it”. So the fact that one person forgives the other doesn’t mean that he/she must forget what happened or the consequences, but it does mean the person decides to avoid destructive treatment of his partner.

Forgetting comes within a healing process that can last for a long time, so it is not okay to think that if the couple is willing to forgive, you must forget and start over.

The reconciliation

The first stage of reconciliation can become an emotional rollercoaster, in which you may feel frustration, pain and resentment, and then go to a phase where you both create communication bridges.

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At the beginning, talking about it will be unpleasant but necessary to know the intentions of your partner, as well as their responsibility about what happened. And it is important to change the cheater attitude and start working on restoring trust. This doesn’t mean that the deceived person should not change their behavior; they should seek the weak points of the relationship to work on strengthening them.

Relationships do not recover overnight. If you were deceived you should take the time to heal the wounds, and if you were unfaithful, you must understand that obtaining forgiveness and trust can only be possible with daily effort to earn it.

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